Pick-Up Line Wars
by princessg101
Summary: Emily is home sick and wants Hotch to help take her mind off of it. Text message hilarity ensues, set in the "When Aaron Met Emily" universe


Pick-Up Line Wars

**A/N: Hey guys, just having some fun with Emily and Hotch. In the 'When Aaron Met Emily' universe so there will be some references. Hotch and Emily got together. ENJOY R&R PLZ! **

Emily flopped onto to the couch for the twentieth time that day. She had the flu so she couldn't go to work but she hated being home alone. She ended pacing the length of the apartment before her illness would make her feel tired then she'd sit down only to regain enough energy and restlessness to go again. She checked the time; surely Aaron would be home soon. Her jaw dropped at the time display on her phone, 1:37, seriously? She was certain it was later than that. The minutes weren't just dragging on, they were like sliding over sandpaper. Emily picked up her phone again and texted Hotch.

_Aaaaaarrrrrrrroooonnnnn! I'm booooooorrrrrreedddddd!_

Aaron Hotchner was sitting in his office doing his usual paperwork when his phone buzzed. He opened the message from Emily and smirked. He knew she'd go stir crazy at home, in fact he was surprised she lasted this long.

_I can see that, can I help you?_

_Entertain me._

Hotch quirked an eyebrow, _How?_

Emily stared the innocent, unconditional word. Aaron should know by now not to give her free reign. _I'm calling a pick-up line war! _

_A what?_

_You heard me, now stand and fight or else be known as the most cowardly fiend in the BAU!_

Hotch sighed, a pick-up line war? Well she was sick and hell, if he couldn't pick up his girlfriend then something was seriously wrong. _Ladies first._

Emily cheered out loud, he was playing along! She mulled it over for a minute then typed, _You should start giving out maps because I keep getting lost in those hot eyes ;) _

Aaron chuckled and used the first one that came to his head, _If I said you had a gorgeous body would you hold it against me? _

_Wow like that one hasn't been used a thousand times lol – if I wish I could rearrange the alphabet and put 'u' and 'i' next together _

_I think I died today cause I'm talking to an angel _

_Did I ever tell you that I'm psychic? I predict that I will blow your mind tonight, want to find out if I'm right? _

Hotch shook his head, _Don't you always? Is that your ass or an onion? Because it makes me want to cry _

Emily tilted her head back to laugh, _Well yours must be from Mars, it's so out of this world_

"What the hell are you doing?" Rossi leant against Hotch's office doorway watching the UNIT chief grin like a maniac while texting on his phone.

"Em is bored," Hotch attempted to cough himself back to seriousness – didn't work. "She's home sick and wants me to entertain her with a pick-up line war."

"I'm not even going to pretend to get that," Rossi rolled his eyes while handing over his paperwork. "I've got a few more files, they should be done by the end of the day."

"Thanks Dave," Hotch added it to the stack on his desk.

"Have fun. Tell Emily I said hi," Dave pointed to the phone before walking out.

Hotch looked at his phone and two more texts from Emily –

_Hello Agent Hotchner? If you don't respond, I'll assume you given up…_

_HA! Success! I hereby crown myself the pick-up line queen! All hail Her Royal Highness, Emily Prentiss! _

Hotch hastily typed back, _Not so fast your majesty – Dave was just giving me his paperwork, he said to say hi. Tell me something brat, if I was an elevator would you go down on me? _

Emily's jaw dropped, _And he comes back swinging! How dare you knock my crown off! (My greetings to David) You want to play dirty with me? Bring it on. You're so hot even my panties have melted. _

Oh the temptation to use Google right now was killing him but he had a strange feeling Garcia would find out that way. _Are you a cupcake? Cause I'm guessing you'd taste really sweet _

_I'm afraid of the dark, will you stay with me tonight?_

_I'll stay with you every night… But since I'm tired and you're tired, let's sleep together!_

_Nice one! Is that your service weapon or are you just happy to see me? _

_Excuse me ma'am but I'm a member of the FBI, Female Body Inspectors, and I'm afraid I have to search you._ Hotch couldn't believe he went there but he was running out of ideas. Still, Emily was silent for a long moment and he began to think he may have just won with the corniest line of all time. His phone buzz with a call and he grinned at the ID, "Emily?"

On the line, Emily was laughing so hard she could barely speak, "I can't believe you said that!" she cried merrily. "I can't even text. I had to call."

"No comeback?" Hotch smirked.

"How could I possibly respond to that? You win! You win!"

Emily's giggles made him smile until she started coughing, "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty much the same as you left me," Emily tried clearing her throat to help with cough. "I finished all of Norma's soup so I feel a bit sloshy too."

"Well get some rest, I'll be home soon. If nothing comes up, I'll make it an early day," Hotch promised.

"Well thank you for entertaining me," Emily sighed. "See you soon hot eyes."

"That's King Hot Eyes to you brat," Hotch countered. "His majesty Hot Eyes the First, King of Pick-Lines and Lord Protector of Toast."

"Oh geez…" Emily face-palmed but couldn't resist laughing again. "Wait till Garcia hears that."

"Who's going to tell her?"

"I am!"

Aaron rolled his eyes, "Of course you will. Goodbye Emily."

"Farewell your majesty."

**A/N: I think I had way too much fun with this story and I hope you did too. Leave me a review and let me know your thoughts. **


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